I used to be addicted to Maury. Every morning I was wake up and watch it, sometimes at the expense of being late to class. When I missed it, I would be mad for at least a hour.
Not all Maury shows are created equal, even though he doesn't change up all that much. My least favorite are the shows about the 75 lbs. 2 year olds, whose moms feed them more than I eat, and I'm a fat kid. Maybe the fact that it's just momma up there is explanation enough on why there is a toddler that eats 2 t-bones, 6 eggs and is on stage in the Bam-Bam loin cloth.
I don't like the I used to be ugly, now I'm not shows either. The women get breast implants and come dressed like strippers (or are strippers), which doesn't mean your not ugly, but just more worthy of sexual advances. Your like the perfect late night come up: down bad enough in the face to ensure that a reasonable man won't get shot down, but with enough Total Nonstop Action to justify what you just put your little man through, once the truthful sun cuts through the lying haze.
Dudes lose weight, workout, and become strippers. Which is bullshit for me because no matter what the day, an oily dude in leopard skin drawers is a sight I could go my whole life without seeing. With that dumb ass smile plastered on your face. Aint nothing to be happy about. Pops can't be proud.
But my favorite shows are the lie detector tests and the paternity tests. I could talk all day about the shit I find funny about those shows, but that is for another time and place, and for another computer that just doesn't register every 5th keystroke. All situations are not created equal however, as some situations lead only to tears, as others paths end in a heroin laced escape.
5) The woman who has brought up 3 dudes at a time to see who the dad is, for a month worth of of shows. Then they hit her like the Brady Bunch for the introduction: her picture is in the middle, the headshots of all the other dudes she brought on surrounding her. You know its bad, cause the last 5-7 dudes don't even give their real names...so she has to hear "Smoke, you are NOT the father...". Then they do the at home update, where she reports that she has given up on the search, and resigns to raising the child by herself, while the Maury audience cheers the cheer of buffoons in the background. When did just mommy become not only acceptable, but worthy of applause?
4) The man who loves his wife, been together for 5 years, has a three year old son, and she comes on the show to tell him that he might not be his, words mired in a sea of tears. It's even worse when both parents are of one race, and the kid is a octaroon riding on the back of a zebra, pops holding on to that foolish yet understandable hope that his white DNA can somehow make Tiger with no Earl. Bad, but trumped by...
3) Add two more kids, none of which are his. Pain, on this level, is unique. Many of us will never scrape this level. Those tears he shed are as real as they come. Nothing like break-up or death tears. This is like white kid, Linkin Park suburban angst, mixed with crack hands and dope arms.
2) Man, wife, married, 3 kids, youngest one is of his line, but the 2 oldest are someone else's. Enough to make you sick to your stomach when you look at her, but the one that's yours is probably enough to make you stay.
1) Your baby's pops is a carny.
Carnival folk.
The dude at the toss a ring at a milk bottle game.
What's the logistics of an at like that? Where does it go down? On the stuffed monkey I just won my niece? I worked for a prize that had carny ass on it?
Whats the motivation of smashing a carny? He's only in town for 2 weeks, tops, so it can't be the scintillating conversation. And lets face facts...you let a dude WHO WORKS AT A CARNIVAL, run in it like purple suit Eddie?
(raw?)
Yeah, thats gotta be number one. We gotta start giving a f*ck about these kids.
Friday, April 25, 2008
Thursday, April 17, 2008
no more heroes.
honor, loyalty, respect. where did they go, or were they ever here? i think they were, but it was never widespread, never commonplace. you found it here, there...maybe never.
carlito brigante. the fictional anti-hero of the brian depalma classic, carlito's way. used to move heavy dope, got downed for a murder charge and hit with a football number.30 years. thanks to his lawyer, only served 5, and was back on the streets, but a changed man. no more dope. 75 large and he's off the the bahamas, straighted up, and flying right. wants to do it the right way. but.
always a but. he is who he is, and that's never going to change. for ideas that have gone the way of the high top fade, first downs and saccony's. extinct, over, through with and cashed out.
a stand up guy. i hate to use mob terms, but its the only one that fits. when everyone is kneeling, ducking, cowering, he stands. stands for what he believes in, like a tree (and i dare anyone to try and move me). Loyalty, honor, respect. When it's hardest, when it's not in your best interest to do so.
even over cash. yeah, over money.
the problem as i see it, is that people don't even check for those qualities anymore. it's no longer necessary because it's on nobody's list. you can only pick friends and the person you'll spend the rest of your life with, and if any criteria was important, i would think it would be those. those ideas that you can't really express. but you know in a situation where life's got you by the short hairs, you can look over and know. when push comes shove, and shove turns to wrestling, you look back into your corner and no ones there, because they are out there fighting with you.
i was talking to this young woman, and we were talking about a situation where this dude snitched on his homeboy. they were both doing dirt, one got caught, and gave up his man.
"shit, i don't blame him. he said they weren't that cool anyway. he's got his future to think about. i would have done the same thing."
i was speechless. not much robs me of the ability to comment. even now, trying to type a response now that accurate describes i how feel is almost impossible. what i do know is that no one truly loves a person that thinks like that. few remembers that person when they gone.
whether we know it or not, we need brigante's in our lives. we yearn for it even when we don't know it. look at the movie that won best picture this year. llewellen moss. cut from a different cloth. a man with principle. the sheriff. a man with principles. even anton chirgurrh. principles that he stuck by, no matter how warped. people are attracted to it because they need it like water, but is as scarce as beepers.
in our own lives, we talk about those people when they aren't around, thinking about them give us solace. we love them. even the people they meet in passing are forever touched and changed. their lives change in some small way because of meeting them, and for the better.
they are our heroes. make them apart of your lives if you are lucky enough to know one. spend time with them. share with them. because when they are gone, your likely not to meet another.
carlito brigante. the fictional anti-hero of the brian depalma classic, carlito's way. used to move heavy dope, got downed for a murder charge and hit with a football number.30 years. thanks to his lawyer, only served 5, and was back on the streets, but a changed man. no more dope. 75 large and he's off the the bahamas, straighted up, and flying right. wants to do it the right way. but.
always a but. he is who he is, and that's never going to change. for ideas that have gone the way of the high top fade, first downs and saccony's. extinct, over, through with and cashed out.
a stand up guy. i hate to use mob terms, but its the only one that fits. when everyone is kneeling, ducking, cowering, he stands. stands for what he believes in, like a tree (and i dare anyone to try and move me). Loyalty, honor, respect. When it's hardest, when it's not in your best interest to do so.
even over cash. yeah, over money.
the problem as i see it, is that people don't even check for those qualities anymore. it's no longer necessary because it's on nobody's list. you can only pick friends and the person you'll spend the rest of your life with, and if any criteria was important, i would think it would be those. those ideas that you can't really express. but you know in a situation where life's got you by the short hairs, you can look over and know. when push comes shove, and shove turns to wrestling, you look back into your corner and no ones there, because they are out there fighting with you.
i was talking to this young woman, and we were talking about a situation where this dude snitched on his homeboy. they were both doing dirt, one got caught, and gave up his man.
"shit, i don't blame him. he said they weren't that cool anyway. he's got his future to think about. i would have done the same thing."
i was speechless. not much robs me of the ability to comment. even now, trying to type a response now that accurate describes i how feel is almost impossible. what i do know is that no one truly loves a person that thinks like that. few remembers that person when they gone.
whether we know it or not, we need brigante's in our lives. we yearn for it even when we don't know it. look at the movie that won best picture this year. llewellen moss. cut from a different cloth. a man with principle. the sheriff. a man with principles. even anton chirgurrh. principles that he stuck by, no matter how warped. people are attracted to it because they need it like water, but is as scarce as beepers.
in our own lives, we talk about those people when they aren't around, thinking about them give us solace. we love them. even the people they meet in passing are forever touched and changed. their lives change in some small way because of meeting them, and for the better.
they are our heroes. make them apart of your lives if you are lucky enough to know one. spend time with them. share with them. because when they are gone, your likely not to meet another.
Sunday, April 13, 2008
spend time doing what you love.
this friday, i made a run on the town. i had a plan that i formed on wednesday:
1) eat some mussels.
2) drink a good beer or 6.
3) have a scotch on the rocks.
simple plans are the best ones. all i had to do was get some people who would appreciate the plan. and lucky for me i have been blessed with friends that would not only appreciate the plan, but enjoy the spoils. come friday, it went down. it was great. man, damn.
what i like doing is spending time with the people i love, eating and drinking. thats not all i love, but i sure do loving doing all of those things, preferably together. those times i don't do those things, and do other shit like:
1) go to poetry readings. once...and that's a lie. i've been like 5 times and its all the young africans' fault.
2) go to the club.
3) go to the mall.
4) eat sushi. other than that fried soft shell crab. that is pretty good.
5) spend any amount of time around someone having level 1 conversation: the conversation you had with people when you came back to school from break, most conversation white people have with each other, or co-worker conversation.
its miserable.
it's painful.
its what's behind door number 4. and people spend so much downtime doing wack shit. i mean, maybe you like eating raw fish and hearing some dude named blacC Ra sing songing some words together. if you do, then go do it. if it's your thing, then i'm not knocking you.
(well, not alot. i'm knocking you a bit. enough to let you know i'm there, but not enough to wake you up if your sleep.)
if you don't, then why. it doesn't make you different, special or progressive. plus, even if god gives you old age, it still aint alot of time to be doing things that you really don't like to do.
(fellas, girls will jam you up heavy on some dumb shit. going to the mall for hours, eating at nasty restaurants. girl movies. sometimes you got suck it up so you win in the big game. i'm not never going to be there for you in the nighttime hours, but she might. but for the love of it all, stand up when you got to and say no. put her on to something good. behind door number 3 and the purple curtain.)
you should spend that time aside from doing what you have to, doing what you love. it only makes sense.
1) eat some mussels.
2) drink a good beer or 6.
3) have a scotch on the rocks.
simple plans are the best ones. all i had to do was get some people who would appreciate the plan. and lucky for me i have been blessed with friends that would not only appreciate the plan, but enjoy the spoils. come friday, it went down. it was great. man, damn.
what i like doing is spending time with the people i love, eating and drinking. thats not all i love, but i sure do loving doing all of those things, preferably together. those times i don't do those things, and do other shit like:
1) go to poetry readings. once...and that's a lie. i've been like 5 times and its all the young africans' fault.
2) go to the club.
3) go to the mall.
4) eat sushi. other than that fried soft shell crab. that is pretty good.
5) spend any amount of time around someone having level 1 conversation: the conversation you had with people when you came back to school from break, most conversation white people have with each other, or co-worker conversation.
its miserable.
it's painful.
its what's behind door number 4. and people spend so much downtime doing wack shit. i mean, maybe you like eating raw fish and hearing some dude named blacC Ra sing songing some words together. if you do, then go do it. if it's your thing, then i'm not knocking you.
(well, not alot. i'm knocking you a bit. enough to let you know i'm there, but not enough to wake you up if your sleep.)
if you don't, then why. it doesn't make you different, special or progressive. plus, even if god gives you old age, it still aint alot of time to be doing things that you really don't like to do.
(fellas, girls will jam you up heavy on some dumb shit. going to the mall for hours, eating at nasty restaurants. girl movies. sometimes you got suck it up so you win in the big game. i'm not never going to be there for you in the nighttime hours, but she might. but for the love of it all, stand up when you got to and say no. put her on to something good. behind door number 3 and the purple curtain.)
you should spend that time aside from doing what you have to, doing what you love. it only makes sense.
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