words from malawi.

"go to the people. live with them. learn from them. love them. start with what they know. build on what they have. but, with the best leaders, when the work is done, the task accomplished, the people will say "We have done this ourselves.""- Lao Tzu

thank you Candice.

riding with michael thomas anderson.

As I ride with Michael Thomas Anderson, I think. Alot. About problems, but more importantly, the solutions. Recently, I've been thinking about black in higher education. Many people look at the number of black women and men in college and smile. We've made to the big leagues, we have access to education. Our predecessors fought for this right, sacrificed and struggled, faced indignities that we could only imagine for the simply right to be respected as a human being, and American citizen. Much love goes to the ones that came before us. As I look around however, I do not believe that this is what they had in mind. As with the characters in Requiem for a Dream, they never thought a little dope and a carefree nature could lead to a arm-stump action, jail, and a man named "Big Tim". Our ancestors could not have forseen this. I'm not talking about the degredation of our women, or the blood-lust that has manifest for the love of material goods. Not the rims, dope boys, 13 year old mommas, glorification of everything negative, the fall of the black family, dead beat daddies, 50 Cent, video-vixens( or their "Confessions"), incarceration rates, baby gangsters, STD rates, modern day minstrels, or Katrina. They knew that the struggle wasn't over for us. What I do not think they could ever fathom is that we, our generation would be unable to combat. Maybe not unable, but most certainly unwilling. Those in the best position to make drastic positive changes, those bright and shiny college student and graduates degreed-up from head to toe, black, lets not forget, seem not to care. Oh, they care enough to go to meeting, talk about the "plight of our people", write some papers, stunt for some peers to be the "intelligent" one. Might even do an intership for a non-profit. And thats where it stops. Somewhere between middle school and college graduation, that essential part of humans that allows them to see themselves as simply a part of a larger community, has been weeded out of them. Selfishness becomes the theme of the rest of their lives. Dress up to be as less threatening as possible so hopefully (please lord, I sho do need this job!) some white person won't be to scared to give them a job. Then its keep your head low, and work until you die. In between, you may raise some kids, look out for your wife or husband, and go to church. Meanwhile, dopefriends nod off on busses, little girls become little mommas, lil' Tavon gets a life bid, inner city neighborhoods die. These are our supposed saviors. I'm thinking that now all that "booklearnin'" gets in the way. There needs to be balance so the black, young and talented never forget. That one bad weekend, and one bad decision, and its you nodding off on the bus, chasing that white horse. Or thats your future daughter going to get WIC. So if you help them, in a way, your helping yourself. And more important, something bigger than yourself.

reprisal

photographs are ways to caputure beautiful moments in time. Because in this life, our focus is so much on the negativity that surrounds us, life's joyous moments often times become very fleeting in our memories. Pictures help us to take hold of those moments in life that give reason to why we live, and make them permenant fixtures in our minds and hearts. I envy dancers, and all those who are artistically inclined. One of my biggest fears is to work doing something I do not love to do for the rest of my life. I look at dancers, artists, actors, musicians with admiration. They have chosen to take a path that unless you become successful, is not rife with abundant material success. Being an artist will never be looked at with the same esteem as being a doctor, unless you become famous. They do it for the love, for the feeling that doing these things give meaning to their existance. It makes them one step closer to being the persons god meant for them to be, because they are doing what they were put here to do. A telemarketer cannot make that same claim. People often hide behind the concept of "doing what they have to do to survive". How are you then different from a hooker who makes the same claim? We all have to do things in order to reach our goals, but in that, never lose sight of the goal that will bring you happiness. On a side note, I heard a young lady ask a guy why does he bring women to his apartment to chill if he's not at the end of the night having sex with them? For this to come from a guy, ok. but a woman? Break out the confetti and the doves, this is the crowning moment of the 2k5 Woman. The hope for redemption is running out.

hey momma. i know you act a fool...

I finished the training for my volunteer coordinator position, and I have been at the actual organization, just for youth, inc. for about 2 weeks now. if you want to know what I do, just ask. as part of my job, I do direct service at local high schools in baltimore. mentoring, tutoring, the whole nine yards. this past friday I was at the ACCE academy in baltimore. a high school that if the kid graduate, they get a full ride to johns hopinks university. yup world famous jhu. you can write your ticket if you graduate and do reasonably well. so one of the girls I just started to mentoring came in the office because she was about to fight. the school has a program called the positive attitude center, which is an alternative to suspension. okay so this 14 year old girl comes in with a heavy attitude, swaying head, hands on hips. all of it. so i attempt to tell her not to fight, why not to fight, how she cannot be an entrenpenur or go to law school with a felony on your record, thats not how adults solve disputes etc. this little girl looked dead at me and said "I don't care what you say, my momma told me to get down for mine" your momma? i was in disbelief. but the principle corroborated the story. so i began to think. before, it was a safe assumption that children were being taught right from wrong at home, on how to behave as a human, and some where on the bus ride from home to school, through walking through the neiborhood, friends, music, you pick the poison, picked up deviant behavior. you could even say that they picked up some of it in the home, through indirect observation. but now, these kids are being taught, taught at home this deviant behavior. it's like "okay, this is how you go to the bathroom, make your lunch, ride on all punk ass kids in your class, and roll blunts in the bathroom. the parents are failing horribly. school, as my cousin brought to my attention, is only meant to reinforce what was learned at home. school is not meant to teach children how to behave, conflict resolution etc. but it is not happening at home anymore. momma had baby at 14, daddy's doing a bid, and BET and the devil's servant 50 cent raises baby. i know the stress bears heavy on momma, she has to work to make sure the family eats. but what does it matter if the child is on the fast track to the state pen? we have to step up, mentor, become a big brother or big sister to help lighten the load. not the children type? donate money, hand out snacks at after-school programs. we have to fill in the blanks that we assume are being filled in at home. if you need idea on how to get involved, just let me know. we can make this better. we have to.

good friends are hard to come by...

And that is why I feel so lucky. In my short lifetime I have come across some great people that have been invaluable to my progression as a person, and have allowed me to be me, no matter how weird, strange or difficult. My next couple of posts will be dedicated to my closest friends, or "the reasons why I have made it this far." In no particular order, just as the mood strikes. to my peoples, this one is for you. (I have a headache right now, so I'll do one a little later on)

sdrow. (grab a mirror)

Be happy. I complain so much about this life that often times I forget the importance of these two words. Be at peace. 3 words that are equally as important. Show love. Back to the 2 word concept. The ability to love may be the greatest gift given to us by God. Be kind. Kind has become synonomous with weak but I do not know why. Kind takes strength, courage, self-sacrifice...actions that cannot be undertaken by the weak. Sacrifice. One word. You know it when you do it because you feel different. Because you are different, something changes in a person when they sacrifice. It's because you've taken one step closer to God. Humble yourself. Humble sounds...humble. It's a very non-chalant word, impossible to say without feeling humbled. Great word. Do something. Instead of thinking about what to do, just do something. Along the way, things will start to make sense. Most importantly. Express yourself. Give to the world the gift you've been holding on to for so long. We need it.