the first step.

what makes me different from other people? nothing.

Angels with dirty faces.

I remember not to long along, someone asked me if I liked children. I responded by telling them that I indeed do like children. alot. they responded that they would never have guessed, and in fact that they do not believe me. i'm "too serious". ha. you want to know why I love those angels with dirty faces so much? it is the same reason tobacco companies love kids and why gangs think they are pretty keen as well. impressionable. "if you get them young, the possibilities are endless." got that one from "unleashed". great concept, but constantly perverted for less than noble purposes. it is the gift and the curse with children. the same concept that can allow a young child to become fluent in various foreign languages early on in their development is the same concept that can allow that same child to become as fluent in the use of various foreign firearms. helluva balance. that yin/yang thing I suppose. the minds of children are subject to the same bondage as an adults mind. hate, fear, mistrust, ignorance; the same ills that plague us adults plague children. these same ideas that hinder us from acheiving...well pretty much anything, also retard the development of a child. but the bonds are ill-fitting. imagine adult sized handcuffs slid around the wrists of a child. with some effort, they can be removed. and the child is free. those bonds, these bonds, were not meant for children. as they grow older, those cuffs are ever more difficult to remove. until eventually, they never come off. we as adults rely on finding the key to those bonds: let the children grow up in conditions that racehorses would turn their noses up to, and eventually, as adults, we will find the key, free them, stand back in revel in glory as these adults live normal and productive lives. and ride unicorns into the sunset. as the jolly green giant smiles and waves at them. did I mention the road to the sunset was paved in gold? and passes close to the city of Oz? come on people. simply fantastical to beleieve that a person 21 years of age will be so easily reformed. they are used to the bondage at this point. they will fight tooth and nail the attempted removal of the cuffs that ensare their being. so much so they many will find a new set of cuffs. stronger and shinier than the previous pair. and can you blame them? at that point the bonds are now apart of them. if you do not understand, think. how many adult do you know (including yourself) consistently engage in detrimental behavior and run behind the almight phase "I can't help it, that's just me" or my 2003-2005 favorite "I'm doing me" I used to get so pissed at those statements. but it's true. someone that was supposed to slide those chains off at age 7 did no such thing. now we have a lifelong prisoner. conditioned like the dog of pavlov. I'm not trying to remove the chance for adult redemption and rehabilitation. but realize that this world does not take to kindly for adults on the "wrong side of the tracks". not many effective solutions exist on a widespread level. it's pretty much prison from 18 on. we must act as if the chains are not removed in youth, that it is a lost cause. chalk it up to the game. maybe then we will get off our collective asses and do something to save the children from drowning in the waste of the world. I'm not asking that you pull them out. all I ask is that you give them a chance. talk to them. listen to them. expose them to things that would normally be kept from them. take your cousin to a museum. ask the single mothers in your neighborhood if you can be a big brother or sister to their child. give your time to the boys and girls club. fufill a childs wishs for the christmas season. and beyond. give them a fighting chance to grow up free.

everyone should be a bit more like dev.

I was watching Any Given Sunday, and for some reason I began to think about a friend of mine. Devin Heatley. Now, I'm not going to give much backstory. We went to Oberlin together. There is a theme in the movie of unselfishness, the key to being a successful team. When I thought of that, I thought of Dev. Not once can I remember him complaining about the things that went on in his life, and he most certainly did not let it reflect in the way he lived his life. He had to get his knee drained every week, and because of his injury, he couldn't play football, something he loved to do. Something was always wrong with his car. As with any human being, something was always wrong, things to complain about, things to act out about, be upset, angry, moody, stubborn...all of the emotions attached with the human condition. Most of the time, you would never know. He was still Dev. Willing to give you a ride anywhere his car could take you. Talking shit from "caint see at morning to caint see at night". Making "commercials" to pursue his career in advertising. Still always Dev. Ready to listen. Unselfish. I think that was the lesson he was put here to teach those people in his life. For if he let these small problems sour his mood, he would be unable to be Dev, and teach that lesson. It is a lesson that I'm still trying to learn. Being selfish is one of the most detrimental qualities to possess. It makes it hard to have meaningful, healthy relationships with people. It closes your eyes to the biggest action that brings us closer to being who we were meant to be: sacrifice. If you know Devin, look closely. And learn. If you don't, then look at me. I'm trying to follow the blueprint. If you have a Dev in your life, be appreciative for the blessing. Thank you The Dude. (if you read this dev, you can save your laughter for later...bastard)