My sister is getting married this month. Jeez. I have alot of mixed feelings about it. A veritable plethora. Mainly concerning the person she is planning to marry. And how long they have known each other But, I love my sister alot, and I will support her in her decision. From this upcoming event, I have learned alot of things. About "the process" of getting married. Didn't know there was so much to it beyond love.
This is my first wedding.
I learned two very important things, one of which I cannot share on here for various reasons. But if you are a man, contact me somehow and I will let you know about a theory that will potentially save your sanity when it comes to love, marriage and women.
The second thing I learned is that the woman I marry is going to have to sing "Be Good to You" by Vivian Green to me before I ask her to marry me. Seems shallow, yes. I have very few requirements. Two including this one. So I don't honestly feel that badly about it. I can't budge on this one. She doesn't have to do it well. And I'll drop hints beforehand. Just a heartfelt attempt.
When my sister is nervous about the wedding, my niece tells her to think about pizza, and that will cheer her up.
Before I give my sister away, I have to come up with something to say to her that will make her laugh out loud. That loud, but brief quick laugh. The one that slips out. You know what I'm talking about. The trick about this is that it has to be something that requires no thought, no comprehension. No time for that. Quick and dirty laughter is what I'm after.
I can't wear my wedding clothes to the reception. I'm about comfort, not being uncomfortable in some slippery earls, hardbottom editions with slacks that hug in me in all the wrong places. I know that sounded a little fruity, but I'm funny shaped and its the truth. I want to wear some sweatpants but that might be going a little too hard. Another problem that needs solving.
This is going to make my mother happy. And its something uniquely special about a child bringing happiness to their parents. Somewhere, an angel plays a drum roll.
The question was raised if I was bringing someone. Now, I've never been the one to bring people to family events. It always seemed selfish. My cousins would always bring their girls to cookouts, and I always roasted them for being suckers. The girl doesn't know anyone, so she's uncomfortable. She feels weird getting some potato salad and a burger, and I feel her. This ain't her family. She has to beauty pagent smile at all of these people for no good reason. Talk to people about nothing. Get left alone when her "date" leaves her to talk to me about...well anything. I want to put someone through that. See how she holds up. Good test of character. I won't feel that bad. I'll try to document it, like an experiment.
And now some parting words from Mack Mittens:
I feel your pain when you restrained and your love die-
and make your heart hard, the blood in your vein fry-
Feel like I'm trapped and I'm blindfolded-
But my eyes wide open to see, Feel like the O'Jay's, climbin those stairways, hopin' Heaven's gates wide open for me-
Towards Allah seekin' direction...Still I spin in every direction, seekin direction-
Tryin' to balance out the good with the imperfections, Yeah I know I still move with nowhere to go....
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