and this is why, jenny.

I was in the process of writing a entry "what went wrong with everything", listening to a song called 4th Time Around by Bob Dylan. My man Mike Brown put me on to it. And I heard something:

"Don't forget, everybody must give something back for something they get."

It made me think of Jenny, my Jenny. So this is for you.

I know you think about why I do the things that I do. Say the things I say. Wonder if they are geniuine and true, if they come from my heart. Is it because I love, or is it for some other purpose. To get you to fall for them just to leave, or say them because the words are easy on the ear the way a sunset is easy on the eyes.
I try to explain it, but the answers end up being more sappy than the actions. One part of you, the sappy side, loves those extra-heavy-on-the-syrup answers. But the other side, the side that for a long time I knew little about isn't buying it. It knows that sugar is sweet, but you cannot live off of it. I understand that.

Over the years of knowing you, you have given me true friendship. A always ready to listen ear. Advice when I need it. Encouragement. Smiles and laughter. Tears too. You have given me a hard time, and made some things easy. Given me piece of you when it would have been easier to keep it all to yourself. Given me justification for being giving by being the same. You gave me a card, "A friend is someone who reaches for your hand, and touches your heart. The scrapbook of all scrapbooks, that made all my friends want what I have with you. You (and your moms) gave me a mini-tour of Trini food in the comfort of your living room. Gave me 30 minutes of tears with Reghan in my yard. Looks that said it all, without saying anything at all. Hugs around my neck. A ride to Bible study. Peace and Happiness. Love Brownies and Love Cookies. One big ass love cookie loaf. Someone I know that will ride with me until the end of the earth. A smart mouth and a strong will that aint scared and won't back down, from anyone including me. A sense of what a woman should be. Humbleness, if thats a word. A different viewpoint than my own. Someone I love being around, even if nothing is said. Instant sunshine on some of my darkest days.

"I love you just the way you are." So add unconditional love to the list.
I could go on. But that would be getting away from the point. I give to you what I do because you've given me so much. I will keep on giving until I have nothing more to give. Then I'll find more.

I give to you my love because honestly, it's that best thing I can give.

Now, thats something even your mind can't explain away. Something that you can sink your teeth into. Chump.
(even though being from Cedonia, you probably don't even deserve this. Damn east sider.)