living like the lights were off.

i remember when i was young, and the lights were off. maybe it was a power outtage, or my pops forgot to pay the bill. it was best when the whole block was dark though. we didn't have many options without electricity. no t.v., no computer, no radio, no videogames. we didn't have many options when it came to light it was my job to find the candles and flashlights. while i checked and changed the batteries, my sister lit the candles. then we would place them around the house. we couldn't open the refridgerator, because we didn't want to let the cold air out. we didn't have many options for food. we had to all walk somewhere to eat. we would come back, eat and talk. we would play games. i can't remember where we would go, or what we would talk about, or the games we played. but all i can remember is when i think of that time, i want to cry.

we didn't have many options when the lights were off. except each other.

i'm going back to that. when my options were limited, i focused on what was important. what made me happy. content. satisified. 

what made us happy, content and satisfied. 

i know it's in me to have it. i just have to do it. and i'm not writing on this until i do. writing isn't doing. i need it. i hope we all do.