why I hate most everything/i am my brothers keeper.

I want to take a small break from the tributes to my homeboys to address something. People tell me all the time that I hate everything. I don't hate everything, just most of everything that this world is or has to offer. People ask why, or just shake their heads. People try to say I'm a contradiction, or I'm too negative about things. I want to take just a few moments to air it out.

I break down life into two seperate and distinct categories: things that are for me, and things that are not. I think everyone does this in their lives to a certain extent, which is a good thing. It helps people stay away from those things, people and situations that do not want to be exposed to. But, from my observations, people are still open to dabble in that other list. For most people, it's more of a " I prefer do to these things vs. I prefer not to do those other things." For instance, people may not prefer to watch award shows, but if one is on, and there are no other quick, suitable options, they may give it a go.

Not me.

If I put something on the "not for me list", I hate it. And I don't mean dislike. When I use hate, I know the evil, dismissive connotation associated with it. Me hating it prevents me from every exposing myself to it, because I think that if I do, it will adversely affect me. It will turn me into something I'm not.
My moms used to tell me that it is impossible to be in something and not be of it. Meaning that if your in Rome long enough, will not just only do as Romans do, but soon enough, you'll be arguing the benefits of a republic vs. emperor.

You'll be a Roman.

When I look around at most people, to be honest, I see idiots. Not to say that they don't have the potential to be intelligent, but if they constantly refuse to use it...

I mean, if your a dog and you act like a cat 95% of the time...might as well hop your ass in that litter box.

I don't want to limit "idiocy" to intelligence. That's just a very small part of it. I think idiocy is better defined by the inability to see yourself as a larger social structure. That what you do, and how you act, and what you learn (or don't learn) can positively or adversely affect those around you. In short, you have a responsibility to turn yourself into a "good" human being, because if you don't, the people around you won't.

Most people in this world don't do that. They are too busy "doing them." Selfish assholes.

I see most people using myspace, having ringtones, watching american idol, wearing chains, reading zane books, putting rings in their mouths, gossiping, acting tough when they are soft as cotton, smutting off, going to clubs among other things that I hate.
Let's use some logic here. If I believe most people are functioning idiots, and most people do those things, then most of the people that do those things are idiots.

I don't want to be an idiot.

This isn't to say that everyone who does these things are idiots. I have people in my life that I love and respect that do most of those things, if not all of them. And I know they are intelligent, caring, unselfish people. But I can't dabble. I'm not strong enough. I need to keep my head clear. My heart pure. Because one wrong turn, one bad weekend, and I'm done. I'm through. I'm wearing sunglasses at night, disrespecting women, and watching music videos from sun-up to sun-down. There are enough of those men in the world.

If you respect my mind, and the way I think. If you like the person I am, and don't want that to change, then you have to understand why I hate most of the things other people like. I have to be different, stand for something different because I want the world to be different. I want what everyone else secretly wants, but has given up on. If you let me hate, then maybe.

Just maybe, things will be as they should. Because you know, deep down, that they aren't. That this can't be all life as to offer. And maybe, just maybe, together, we can right the ship.

success.

For my 24 birthday, I'm decided to create a list. The infamous "Things to be done before I die" list. I haven't crafted it yet, but I had some preliminary items up for consideration:

Drinking water from a natural water source.
Spending a night in a 5-star hotel.
Living a month outside of the good ol' red, white and blue.
Opening up laundromats for the homeless.

Then today happened. At the school where I work, we had a gender meeting among the 5th graders. This is where the students split up according to sex, and discuss various topics. The topic today was role models. Each child was given a sheet of paper with 3 questions:

1) Who is your role model?
2)Why is he/she your role model?
3) What are the charactics of a role model?

The children and the faciliator (me) all filled out a sheet, and we went through each question together. The third child, Khalil, when asked his response to the question, said Mr. Singleton.

He said my name. His role model was me.

"To laugh often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition;
To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded."

I now have a new list.