inspiration.

When I update my blog, I am normally moved by some event that compells me to write.
Don't you hate when the title of something has little-to-nothing to do with what it is actually about?.
I normally wait for one of these events before I attempt to write, because that inspiration allows me to write with conviction and emotion. So I have been waiting. And waiting. Seemingly in vain. While waiting for this great epiphany, I realized alot has happened since I have last written. No one "the earth is round" realizations. In fact, not one realization. Just events that I have yet to interpret. And I don't think that I will. You know what they say about translations. Something is lost between the original manuscript and the new ititeration. I just want to take these events as they happened. No additives and preservatives, just the feeling that accompanied my initial reaction.

I talked to a kid that was 16 years old in the 9th grade. He told me that he didn't want to repeat the 9th again, so he was dropping out. He wanted help getting into job corps. Why did he miss so much school? His mother was "fucking up". She got stabbed in the head, got her throat cut, shot a dose of heroin that was, unbeknowst to her, cut with rat poison. And she told his cell phone for money for more dope. His older sister gave his mother a bag of dope. She wants her to die.

I talked to a girl who was dating a young man who hustled. She didn't mind because her dad did the same thing all of his life. He tried to stop once but her and her sister's and her mother's constant want for finer material things quickly pushed him back to the street, and back to jail. He has been locked up most of her childhood. She likes "fast money" because she doesn't like to wait to have the latest fashions. Her mother is the same way, and her cousin has a nice house and a porsche truck from dealing with a guy who is now doing fed time. She says she could never deal with a dude that has no money.

Sitting outside of a bar, my cousin and I saw a homeless dude get thrown out of the bar, drunk. He fell in the street, and passed out for about an hour, in the middle of the street. Cars drove around him. My cousin woke him up and asked him if he had somewhere he could go, somebody he could stay with. He shook his head no, and passed back out.

A girl told me that she didn't believe in God. "Why does he take all the good people from us so soon?"

My uncle told me that I should sleep with 2 women at once. It will help me separate love from sex, because in his mind, they do not go hand in hand. I am destined to believe in love and want it above all other things because his brother, my father, felt the same way. It's in my genes.

A volunteer told me that seeking to be happy in ones' life is not a worthwhile goal. It ultimately leads to hedonism. The pursuit of joy is a much more realistic goal. She is a devout Christian, and her husband is a non-believer and it bothers her greatly. I was discussing past gifts I have purchased for people, and she commented that she has never received nice gifts like that from her husband. The joy that she knows she will never receive from her husband, she gets from the lord.

Inspiration.